I Just Have To Tell You...

*Uncorks a bottle of Rose and takes a swig from the bottle...*



I've never been lucky with guys, and its funny I say that because in my group of friends I'm the first one to bag a date when I want it. Modestly speaking, I've never had an issue with being approached by guys, dating guys, going on dates, dinner, cinema, events... Whatever, it’s never been a problem with me. I'm a very confident person, I have to be... It’s a big part of my job. But I've never been lucky with guys, like I've never been in a actual relationship, or one that's lasted on that note...

*Decides to be civilized and pours wine into a glass*

Question Mark Guy #6
Profile Name: Never On My Case...
Age: 22

I rarely, and when I say rarely I mean it’s unheard of for me to become attached to someone. It’s not like I'm some ice queen or put my heart in the freezer on a daily or nothing is just I've never really had time to think about what I really need in a guy. Sometimes I feel that I get so busy I don't have the chance to sit back and evaluate what I really need. I find I almost tend to go for everything I want to give me that instant boost like some 'Relentless' Energy drink that will last me a few hours keeping me going for the time being, rather than sit down to a home cooked meal that will last me the whole day... Am I making sense?

*shuffles on sofa to get comfortable*

Ok, let me give you an example... This story has been sitting in my notes for my blog for about two months now but I've never really come to terms with whether I wanted to write about it... Oh well... Anyway...

*clears throat*

Imagine chemistry between two people that was so crazy you'd think that they reinvented science... (Don't watch the cheesy line). Man I’ll tell you the way me and this guy got on it was mad, I'd never really had that kind of (hate to be cliché) connection with someone before. Now I have a versatile personality and I tend to get on with everyone anyway, but this, this was different, it felt different, I really liked him. Really liked him. Its almost hard for me to admit it but without going on too much about this nonsense saying how we moved the planets, stars and rocked the universe and all that.(LOL sorry but I actually thought that sounded funny) I just really felt like there was a bond between me and this guy. Any guy can text my phone or call me or email me or tweet me along with the other 200 ways you can get in contact with me, and I won't care less, they're all irrelevant to me. Unless its business I don't really give too shits and all of my friends know I’ve had this head strong attitude for a while. But from the time I met this guy I just couldn't wait to be around him again. I felt so comfortable around him. I could be silly and have a laugh and crack my really not funny jokes with him and he'd laugh AT me... But to me he was still laughing and that's what sorta made me happy. The fact that I could please him. When I was with him I almost found myself trying to make him or keep him happy and that made me content while doing so.

*sigh*

But that's not it... Oh no... The way this guy would make my heart skip a beat by the way he touched me was crazy... He would hold me up against the wall hold my neck and kiss me like no ones done before, *Mmmmmm* he had the softest lips I could kiss for hours, the most amazing tattooed chest and body. Ahhhh man! This guy could kiss my neck and send shivers down my spine even while I'm on my way home and not with him. Just the thought of it now is making me quiver. Now without getting too xrated and making you lot #pausefororgasm or whatever, he was a lot... I loved being around him I loved cracking jokes with him, I loved talking to him, I even liked speaking to his mum and spending what time I could with his little brother and the two most adorable sisters who sort of remind me of my own. But from the time I stepped out of his front door, got home and went to sleep I knew we wouldn't talk again for another week or two. And that's what our relationship was like. I developed this genuine care for him out of... Well an insignificant relationship. Obviously, it never started like that but that's how it ended up a few months in...


Me and this guy, we were never in a relationship, to be honest till this day I don't know what it was... But for the sake of the blog ill keep things simple and say we were dating. We were dating for a while, and from the time we met we connected but if I think about it now, and being quite honest I was kinda a booty call…




#JustSaying I won’t front and ill be the first girl to admit that I have been suckered into being one LOOOOLOUDER! Ok ill tell you why, well… he would never call call me! EVER I used to make effort to call him etc… but then I gave up coz he never returned the favor and called me, oh but he did however use to message me on facebook! One sec let me hold the story there for a moment while I Laugh Out Loud At Myself… *cough* yeah he would only converse with me through FB and I mean I know he’s on T-Mobile and I’m on Orange but give the five day pass a rest right? Anyway yeah so our only conversation was ever through FB and to make matters worse… oh no it doesn’t stop there… it wasn't until like a few weeks into 'Dating' him that I kinda found out he was basically bum chums well best friends with a guy I dated the year before... #pause… from the time I found out I had all sorts going through my mind... There's this guy that I get on with so well and he turns out to be friends with this guy I was 'seeing' the year before... Now if it hasn’t quite sunk in to your minds about what has happened imagine this scenario in your head... close your eyes and imagine two guys (girls, for the guys reading this post) that you went out with... now imagine you seeing one of them in a rave, they have come over to you to say hi and see what your saying, until the other person comes over to hand your guy a drink... you look up and it turns out it was another guy you went out with... #pause so they have basically turned up together... and you didn’t know they were friends... WHAT WOULD YOU DO? No No not what would you do... but what would you say? It’s not the easiest thing to come out with if they ask how you both know each other... Be honest! That’s a 'grab your coat and hide in the cupboard Harry Potter Stylee' kind of situation... TELL ME IM LIEING!
Now let me tell you how I found out they knew each other... I was talking on the phone to the guy I was seeing the year before about something until I hear a voice in the back saying...' Is that Zanna?'... This is how I felt…



He passing the phone to my guy from him to say ‘Me and you need to talk’ now I already knew what we ‘Needed to talk about’ when he said those words but you know how you have to dumb yourself down abit…

Anyway, long story short he didn’t talk to me about it until like ages after but when we did talk about it he said it was cool… and the past is the past #pause now maybe I should have cut it off myself coz alie if you was in that situation you would right? Coz to me, I found out when he found out so who was to go first and say whats what? Anyway I liked him a lot so for some next unknown universal reason it didn’t raise my eyebrows into why he said it was cool… *rolls eyes*.

Well ill speed the story forward a bit. He would always drop these bottomless comments like, im going to make you m girl soon and the should make more girls like you etc etc..

*yawn*

Anyway he would feed me these sweet nothings and id fool for it… #TWAT


Anyway it was his birthday and I got him tickets to go see Joe perform with Natalie Williams at Ronnie Scotts, for valentines. Cutting this short I didn’t go with him coz I felt he was going on like a bit of a dickhead, but when I told him a week later he went into a bit of a strop and we had a lil argument I got abit teary eyed and went home… now on my way home I text him ‘I feel like I’m in love with an arsehole’ now if you know me well you will know I hate being mad or holding grudges so ill crack a dumb joke to break the ice. Except he didn’t find it too funny, and he messaged me from his good friend Facebook to say are your serious your in love with me… now obviously I wasn’t but I’m not sure what broke him more, the fact that I was saying it was a joke (even though he was probably thinking thank God) or the fact I called him an arsehole.

Anyway moving on… to break the ice again *rolls eyes* I asked him what are you doing in 2 weeks now I didn’t want to say what it was for but he said I was going on funny and said to me we should leave it their so I said cool. But what I was going to do was take him to see Omar at Ronnie Scotts coz I felt bad about being a bit of a bitch for valentines. Well in the end I took my friend Lyton @_letterL because I felt he would appreciate my time and company a lot more than this dude. And I’m glad I took him coz Ronnie Scotts is one of those places I don’t introduce anyone to unless I feel they will respect it, its just one of those places that is special to me.


Well the reason I decided to write about this because this happened earlier in the year is because he started talk to me again and I was thinking to myself do I really want to go down that road again? I do like him but ergh! He made me feel like sucha twat! And I don’t have time fi dat…

I miss the times we had but should I go there? LOL!!!!! Anyway on to the next one….

Men. Things I like to call "Odd Creatures Of Society". Now I know myself that I hold my own, I have my own business, I handle business, I mind my own business not to mention I do my bit for my peoples when I can. Personality? Love! Don't mind that other gal there... I'll keep you entertained for yonks... The Gemini way! BUT, lets be honest, you OCOS's are as much as I hate to admit it, you are needed. Well this is the way I look at it. Guys you can go down to the nearest blockbuster rent a DVD of catwoman, layout the cocoa butter, watch Halle Berry move and give your left hand the only exception of knowing what your right hand is doing... get the jist? Maybe for the contained few that are a lil more extrovert, will buy a 50p melon from Lidl cut a whole in it, stick it in the microwave for 60 seconds and enjoy the cheapest hooker ever! But now us women, and I'm speaking for the majority as obviously there are a few sidewinders in there... But us women can hardly put on Sky movies or Film4 watch Jamie Foxx in Dream Girls, stick a finger up our fannies and moan. So I suppose if I'm being honest your are there to fullfill needs we cant give ourselves, and no I'm not just talking sex, I'm talking about all the soppy shit that you guys find so difficult to do. Like send a text on the odd occasion, or call once in a while to say hi, go out etc.... Even share stuff that you wouldnt really wanna tell your Breadbin (I've spelt it like that because I can) that lives a few doors away from you (but anyway thats another story). But coming back to the plot now... Guys you're all there for a reason right? but really and truely I don't have one clue why this guy was floating around like a bee round a honey pot...


Question Mark Guy #5
Profile Name: Stalker Line 1
Age: Lord Knows

Ok, so from the beginning I was on twitter one day, just minding my own, until Industry hater pressed a button in his small little brain and decided to go at me on this "Every girl in the industry is a whore/slut/skank, and sleeps around to elevate their career" tip with me. FAAAAAAAACK OFF! To be honest he didn't strike a raw nerve because if that was true I would have shagged Chris Lighty when we met, knocked myself up, bribed him and got rich along time ago... I would have 'elevated' myself so much I would be living on Miami Beach, with a fine brudda working for Nikki Minaj consulting her on how to 'elevate' herself and her career. INSTEAD, I'm stuck in London (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) grafting the same way every one else is... The paying taxes way... So while I'm reading books like "Grab yourself a Millionaire husband" and "Change your life in 7 Days" I'm thinking, did the person who wrote the first book even grab themselves a millionaire? And did the author of the second write the book in six days like God created the earth, rest on the seventh and hand everything over to their agent to handle all the dirty work and watch the money come in? Either way, the books haven't done anything for me so do I get my money back?
 
Moving on, after having a bit on cheap banter on twitter with Industry Hater (I.H) a few weeks went by where he kinda left me alone, not that I cared, I mean it was entertaining for a while until... (I'm sorry bubs but I have to mentio you coz you are sort of part of it) Silvar was having a conversation about me to I.H, I don't know the specifics coz I didnt see the full convo but out of no where I.H gives Silvar my number openly on twitter like its a retweeted quote off Rev Runs Wisdom... AND THEN just for his own spice, he decides to tweet my number again saying contact Zanna for PR yadda yadda yadda. FOOL. Now I didnt see this message until two hours AFTER it was posted. Pause. So by the time I checked my phone I had like 14 direct messages from friends telling me, LORD KNOWS how many people retweeted it and masses of tweets from people saying how much of an asshole he is, it wasnt until I scrolled all the way down when I found the Pussy Popper had Posted my Private number up in Public... PRICK. After my phone had nonstop no ID callers throughout the night I turned my phone off... 
 
Anyway, if your thinking is this blog about I.H? Nope, But I am getting there... OK so after his little run, I got this friend request on facebook but I didn't think it had any sort of connection with twitter. When I write things on twitter it get posted straight to facebook, and this guy that I had excepted on facebook started commenting on every single status that was on my FB. Now I didnt think anything of it not even when he went through all my pictures and commented on them too... I mean there are people out there that do that.
 
Anyway... I didn't think anything of it, I just ignored it, I never said anything back to him, even when he started to send me stuff like this...
 

I thought I'd start the new year off with a question mark guy story that may make you laugh or may shock you a bit but well wait and see...



Question Mark Guy #4
Profile Name: Double Ditch
Age: At the Time: 14 ish (WAIT don't hold your breath lol this is a old story!)

Now we are going back a goooooooood few years! Way back to when I was in school doing my GCSE's when:







The next day I got up and made a propa effort, from what I can remember I wore jeans I cant remember the full details not that you care but I do know I put on this cute little brown shoes with a small heel on, I loved those shoes lol anyway yeah I made an effort to look decent. I got my keys picked up my bag and a pair of spare flat shoes just incase I wanted to change then I got a call from him to let me know that he was at the station so I jumped pon de bus to meet up with him and when I got there I met him at the bus stop… When I saw him he looked NOTHING LIKE HIS PICTURE!!! NOTHING!!! This guy was either very good at photoshop or had a nice looking big brother and snatched them pictures from him quick time, when I saw his face I almost laughed to my self as if to say ‘when I see my girl at school on Monday I’m actually gonna knock her out!!!’ his face looked like you know when you press your face against a window and everything is squashed and spread out? Lol he was some lanky guy with a small head with squashed features like he was made out of play dough. I thought it couldn’t get any worse but when I tried talking to him he was like unbelievably dense! I was like talking to a brick wall, I called my girl and I said hello she goes to me ‘are you with him?’ I go yeah and she burst out laughing on the phone like it was a joke! Now I know you’re probably thinking thats deep but I felt exposed! I’m not gonna lie my girl got me good. Anyway I hung up and just got on with it, I thought hes here now anyway I might aswell deal with it. So we get on the bus and go to the underground and if it’s worth anything he did seem like an alright kinda person.

We got to the N.P.G and we looked around and I was shocked to see his interest in art he was more inquisitive than me I took my pictures of the place and carried on walking around, now I cant remember what he did but he said something to me and I thought oh god what am I still doing with this guy? So I changed my shoes and put my flat shoes on, and waited… for the opportunity… to escape! Lol yeah escape! I said to him im trying find a picture could you help, I point to a picture in the programme and he said ok ill help, now while he was doing that I had a good look around the bottom floor of the museum to see where the exits, doors, stairs and escalators were so I could deviate my plan…

I was getting ready to walk to one of the elevators but I bumped into him and go ‘oh there you are’ he laughed and said he had found the picture lol I walked with him to see the picture, took my picture of it then he goes do you need to find another one? I point to another picture in the programme and he goes to me ‘you walk one way ill walk the other and then we can meet in the middle’ I smiled and thought that’s the smartest thing he had said all day so I walked off a hastily walk toward the elevator pressing the button loadsa times hoping it would come quickly looking around hoping he wouldn’t see me, when the elevator came I stood behind a couple that was also in the elevator and went all the way to the 3rd floor where the toilets and the gallery restaurant was. I went to the toilet sorted myself out… I know I took some pictures of myself as well but as much as I want to entertain you all I can’t find them for the life of me lol (I even dug out my OLD laptop to see if it was on there but no luck)



Anyway, so I stayed upstairs in the restaurant, had an orange juice and was on the phone to my girl who thought what I did was quite amusing… after an hour I thought it was safe to go back down stairs and I went to the ‘Hagen Diaz’ ice cream place in Leicester square, sat down and got an ice cream and which was then when I started to get texts from him saying where did you disappear to… lol I text him back saying I couldn’t find him and I tired calling him and it wouldn’t ring so I thought you went home lol! When I got home I blocked him on MSN and beat up my girl on Monday morning lol!

Moral of the story: Never do a blind date!
Disclaimer: what I did do though is log into my old MSN after ages of trying to remember the password and found him in my contacts lol! I got his email and googled it and found…