I Just Have To Tell You...

Ok so my girl @siananderson has kind of got me into the blogging thing, and when I sat down and thought about it I thought OMGOOOOOSH!!!! I have so much to talk about! I've decided to blog about something once a day, I have no idea how long it’s going to last but I will dearly try to keep it up. ANYWAY! Down to business....

So my topic for today is 'QUESTION MARK GUYS'. I have come across some F.U.N.K.Y guys (and girl’s too but ill get on to them later) while working in the industry so I thought I'd have a good laugh about it.

Question mark guy #1
Profile Name: Something Else...
Age: 26 so he says did my research and has got to be at least 30! Kind of me feel a bit ill!

Right well, I've known this guy for a bit through work and we got chatting about work may I add! Concentrate! I don't want to see them eyes rolling! So we got talking and he told me what he does and people seemed to know him. This was reassuring may I say to know... Well to think I knew I wasn't talking to a complete PHYCO! Well he asked for my BB pin one time and this is where the madness started!!! My guy started talking to me now and it was a decent conversation... What projects you doing at the moment...? Who have you worked with...? How long have you been doing it for...? You know all that mumbo-jumbo. Next the guy starts asking questions about what I look for in a boyfriend and how he thinks he'd be perfect for me... When I'm watching these messages I'm thinking... This guy seems a bit perved out... Coming on a bit strong when he doesn’t even know me. I mean I'm all for a compliment or two but that was a bit much so I restrained myself from meeting up with him unless it was in public, which I stuck to may I add. How you ask? Well I didn't meet up with him! SIMPLES!!!! (as the meerkat on the compare the market DOT com would say)

So anyway I'm working on this project now and I'm excited to bring the UK industry involved in it. Especially people that I feel have a good work ethic no matter how creepy they may be... And I asked if he could send me a few things for it. He said let's have a meeting, I didn't see the point seeing as what I needed didn't need to involve much of a conversation let alone a meeting, but I didn't see the harm and agreed. What's the harm right? Well... That's what I thought!!!

Ooooooooo boiiiiii!!!!!! I mean imagine the thought of a scrawny little man standing outside a primary school waiting for the kids to come running out so he can lore them away with rowntree fruit pastels, tootie footies and haribio ready to snatch the kids away from their parents. Then taking them to his house to store them in the cellar, fattening them up like caged chickens ready to devour his teeth into them 6 weeks later! Well keep that thought in your head for a few minutes while I tell you more...

So he buys me a hot chocolate and a chocolate cake from starbucks, I did offer to pay for my own stuff but I suppose its being polite for him to pay really (well so is giving a kid sweets) as he did call for the meeting. So we are chatting and I'm telling him about the project and where I want it to go. Now during the meeting he feels the need to comment on the fact that he thinks I look very 'hot' was the words he used, flattered was my feeling, and inappropriate was the thought. No matter how innocent it may have been.

So the nice good looking French guy in starbucks who I'd rather be having a meeting with may I say *no pun intended* came over and said that they were closing. So we vacate and walk towards his car. (It was on the way to nandos, I was really in need for a munch before I went home) he went home, I went nandos meeting finished. He then called me to ask me if I wanted to chill out at his house. Reluctant to sound rude I obliged, expecting other people to be there and said that I would only if it wasn't too late and COMPLETELY IGNORED THE FACT THAT I THOUGHT HE WAS A BIT CREEPED!!! (This is the part where the creepy guy takes the kid to his house)

Speeding time forward it about...10.30pm *ish* and he picks me up now were driving, and driving and driving and I'm thinking I knew it I FCUKING knew it he going to kill me! Shoot me! Summits up! Something just didn't seem right, so we get to this loooooong road with no street lights and I'm like where the hell are we? I didn't want to say anything I roughly knew where we were but from when I don't see a bus stop I kind of got a bit worried. We get to this field like massive field and all there is is baaaaaaaaaare darkness!!!!! It was closed off and he gets out opening the gate. He drives through and its just pitch black!!! PITCH BLACK!!!!! This lil road was leading to a house at the end of it... Ok let me elaborate... The only house at the end of the road!!! ONLY HOUSE!!! Think Blair witch project... There are bare trees, pitch black, a derelict warehouse (which advertably was part of the house) and a house! I looked around and there were just fields!!!!! And this one house in the middle of it, almost like a farm house type thing. When I got out the car I didn't want to say sh*t incase I pissed him off and he decided to kill me! No one knew where I was; damn I didn't know where I was.

We get in this house now and it was as creepy as outside, it looked a bit like a squatter’s house lmao! Like it just didn't look like a home is what I mean by that. It just looked unlived in. Now were sitting in this room now. Chatting and all that having a laugh listening to some tunes. Having a drink and that talking about some work stuff and this is where it all starts!!!!

He starts saying things like: oh you’re so sexy, you’re really hot, you've got such a cute smile, I'm glad your here, your good company... Now I'm just laughing the compliments off as you do. I had my hair out on that day so I got my hair band and tied it up. This is him: ooooh you look so sexy with your hair tied back, you’re teasing me! MAY I JUST CLARRIFY I DIDNT NO ANYTHING BUT TIE MY HAIR UP!!!! Then he starts to try and massage me, I shrugged it off then he goes you know it feels good... *me raising eye brows* erm if you say so... It’s about 12.50am now and I go to him I need to use the toilet. I BB my girl Shaye and go to her this guy is going on bare creepy on me HELP!!!!! I come back and 10mins later I have shaye calling me imitating as my cousin....

Shaye: 'you have to come back home now, there's a family emergency and you need to come back now'

(By the way I've turned my phone volume up so he can hear)

Me :( pretending I don't know what she's doing) 'I can't right now I'm out of the area...

Shaye:'NO! Tell whoever you’re with to bring you back NOW!!!'

(Phone call finished...)

*Now you may be thinking at this point oh no!!! Is that what girls do now?!?! Lmao! I'm sorry but desperate circumstances call for desperate measures!!!*

I go to him 'did you hear that?' He goes he weren’t listening when he blatantly was!!!! Then I go to him look I need to be home now and he goes ok give me a 15minutes to sober up because I don't want to lose my license... I thought ok fair enough if you had loads to drink then that's a fair comment but he had like 1 measly drink!!! And I had the same thing and it’s not like it knocked off any drink units I'm telling you!!!! It was like that cheap vodka stuff that smells like nail polish remover, tastes like shite but in terms of its ability to get you drink when mixed with juice is 0% especially when you've had 1!!!! Well he said 2 but he hadn't even finished his second drink so I don't know what he was chatting about...
Anyway, I was counting the minutes and it was about 1.30am and I go look I really need to get home... This is him rolling up a spiff, give me a minute I'm still light headed! I'm thinking why the hell are you rolling up a spliff then telling me you need to sober up coz you don't want to get pulled over?!?!?! HE TRIED IT!!!! I'm all for people liking my company but nahhhhhh don't take me for a fool!!!! I didn't want to argue with him so I just stayed quite incase he changed his mind and left me to rot in his house till the morning.

It’s about 2.30am now and he goes to the toilet which was great timing as my girl shaye calls me and asks me if I'm ok.

Me (whispering): yeah he's gone to the toilet and he's gone so crazy!

Shaye: who is he?

Me: he's dot dot dot

Shaye: not *beeeeeep*

Me: YEAH!

Shaye: OMG! Zannnna! I could have told you what he was like he was bare gwarning pervy with me on face book....

Me: I got to go he's coming back

I bb her I'm sending you my location! The thing wouldn't bloody load my location!!! My BB doesn't even know where I am I thought! Then I thought @terrordanjah would say...'That would never happen with an IPhone!' Lmao!

It’s about 3am and my battery goes dead.... I go to him look I really need to go then he decides to go all skitso on me and say:

‘I can't read you man! I don't understand you!'

I'm thinking am I missing something here?

Then I go to him I'm not a book... And that he needs to take me home, I'm not there to be read!

He rolls up another spliff and says I just don't want to lose my license... I'm thinking RIGHT!!!! Whatever!!!! But you can smoke a spliff while driving but you can't drive while being minutely intoxicated?!?! Dickhead!!! Its 3.15am and we get in the car and I don't say any thing to him. Just thinking about how well he drives under the influence of weed, but can't function on alcohol... I thought I hope the MOFO gets pulled over!!!

I get home at like 3.45am is and he insanely goes I hope you had a good night I have a feeling you didn't! I was thinking what gave you that Idea.... Anyway I went to bed thinking that guy *shake my head* he's something else!!!!
Moral of the story... Well more of a note to self really! He's a nutcase! Trust your instincts at all times!!

Oh and drive everywhere yourself, it never fails lol